He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. 2. For that you need some motivation so we were talking about physical things to reward ourselves with. Save this to your funny stories collection so you can tell your friends on a road trip! Out of the corner I could see my 6th grade teacher give my computer studies teacher 10 dollars. SETH. No need to. the worst part? Virtual-reality self-prostitution: I used to play a game called Phantasy Star Universe and I would be my own pimp AND my own hoe. Everything was going fine until the day my partner and I had to paint the thing. You should speak with a dermatologist about your answers to this quiz to get a proper diagnosis. We don’t have a fucking doorbell: So a couple years I moved out of state with a boyfriend. I asked her how or why and she said that if children sit on cold ground their ovaries will freeze and that we won’t be able to have kids. There are also some interesting stories funny to I’m incredibly bad with directions and easily distracted, so I lost sight of the rest of the group and went completely the wrong way. One of the ways my anxiety was coming out was with nightmares and night terrors. He finally comes back in and hands the girl her lotion, and he’s used up half of it. We were both laughing and making jokes. I looked around frantically, trying to find out who I can tell, because I didn’t have any friends to tell in this class. Popcorn: My sister, mother, and I were waiting in a long line at the Sam’s Club food court. I thought I was smart enough to let it go unnoticed but I’ll never forget what my dad yelled out when he walked in. Have your physical symptoms, such as sores, wounds, or pain, impacted your lifestyle or mental outlook? Suddenly my brother’s best friend stood behind us and from this day he’s thinking that I’m taking drugs. All the fish. Sniffing candles with my best friend: So my best friend and I were in a super market and there were a lot of new candles. So one day we’re all just chilling on the couch when Ethan comes in wearing his boxers. After completing this quiz, please talk to your dermatologist about your answers as soon as possible. Now for whatever reason, I was swinging my arms around in a wild half-windmill motion. So I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. 48. You indicated that someone in your family has been diagnosed with HS. I would’ve murdered her at the very least, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Anyway, right as she saw him she screamed “OH! I momentarily forgot that only moons have phases, and that the sun is generally always ‘full’ … my friends have never let me live it down. Everyone would play games on their computers (we used computers to take notes) but would play them in a super sneaky manner (volume down, looking at the board so it looks like you’re taking notes, etc.). The best of our most recent stories! Now my teacher adored Seth so he gets called on and you know what his answer was?? Later that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really hard. This woman has done ironman triathlons, and talks about going to the YMCA at 5:00am. So teacher takes a look at me, sees the book in my hands, then back to her desk obviously confused for a second. I had a change of heart. Driver’s license: So I was at the local DMV to get my driver’s license when my dad pissed off the lady at the counter. © 2013-2014 Texts and pictures copyright Oltea Goia-Demian, if not other way mentioned. Well I called the police, closed the garage and parked myself in front of the dining room window. Now when we stand up for the pledge, he moves all the way to the back of the room away from me…. My teacher thought it was me. So, his mom took him to the doctor’s office, where the doctor took one look and told her to take him to the ER. The firework of this feast of life's fantasy and pranks, I guess, will be the Funny True Stories section. And everyone knows I like him. Really Funny Stories for Parties or for Your Own Amusement, I anyhow don’t know many of this kind of actually sad funny stories. Here are the most hilarious true reader stories from 2015. turns out she was the lady that had to do the actual road test with me. We were talking about childhood and reminiscing about old memories, and we somehow started talking about which people became hot since middle school. I watched as people passed the mess and made looks of disgust. Go to top A Few More Short Comedy Stories. One day in college, the teacher had stapled answer sheets to … It happened in Mumbai. Do these symptoms appear near your inner thighs, armpits, chest, groin, or buttocks? Literally had to take a sobriety test when I tried to get my license. !“ my mom found the empty carton and just stared at me. I, scared shitless, am peeking around the corner watching it all go down. 6. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. STOP POSTING POLITICAL … Never wear a dress in Chicago: So when I was younger, my aunt was kind enough to invite me to come along with her to Chicago for my cousin’s paintball tournament. 56. 54. I told her what I found and we both cracked up. I told her that I had already read the first book, and all the teamwork that went on. He came in the next day with a new pair and an apology note taped to them. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. 31. 52. I definitely do not rummage the internet to refresh my collection. It’s another ALSO RED backpack that I had mistakenly took in my rush to get to science. I make eye contact with thus cute guy, look at my Grandparents who both look extremely disappointed, and a few other people are looking at me. A parked car that I didn’t even see, like at all, so I just rammed into this car and I fell off my bike and I was crying and all I could think about was “this must be how bugs feel” like they’re flying around living life and then SPLAT. Slappy trails: One time in fifth grade, I was walking back to class from the bathroom. Panic! I opened the freezer and dug around until I found what appeared to be chicken nuggets in an unopened plastic bag that for some reason, didn’t have any cooking instructions. She got mad at me, telling me that I wasn’t being ‘patriotic’ and sent me to the principal’s office. One thing that Chicago has plenty of is vents, and I ignored them because the ones in my city are never on. But I did this time. I stepped inside a pothole in my neighbor’s lawn and completely fell in mud but I got right back up and kept running, muddy as hell, trying to get to my house while my sister was dying from laughter behind me. that, my friends, is a true baby sitter. To this day I can probably cite that as one of my top clumsy/socially inept moments. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off. I searched all over that kitchen, trying to find the cinnamon scent, leading me to the oven. The kids were eating Pringles. All glowed up: After the final bell, my friend and I were walking to our buses after school through a crowded hallway. In the end she agreed to let me read my own books as long as I kept track of the actual book we were reading. !” Of course, I told the truth and said “M-m-my teacher t-t-t-taught me that word!” and she started ranting about how she was going to call the school and get that teacher yelled at. I swear to God he levitated: I have a friend who I’ve known since I was very little. When I showed up on the first day of school in third grade, I told everyone that the show was going off the air after the season finished (even though I had no knowledge of when it was ending), and so they wouldn’t need me. Just like any other girl, I wanted to get all dolled up before walking around in front of people. I still remember the rush of energy I got from actually leaving the store undetected. Then a couple of hours later, during lunch I was walking past the staffroom to get to the lunch hall when I heard my speech being played, being curious I stopped and I heard them replay “I am gay myself actually” a couple of times over. Ed class, and we went around the neighborhood for a jog at the beginning of each class. :), Oltea Goia-Demian. I forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. Socially awkward fail: So one day I was walking around, just chilling with my friends when I see this guy reading a book. She gives me weird looks every time she sees me now. His face looks like the best chair: So there’s this really hot kid in my creative writing class. See 11 insane but true crush stories. I’m talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. Ed policy. Of course, as I’m telling the story I realize the events were super weird and that it was all a dream. We ended up continuing with that scenario and took notes on the scientific method using the very problem that I had created. His teacher, a nun, sees adorable little Adam with his chubby cheeks and face like a cherub and asks him his name and he answers flat out, “SonofabitchAdam.”. that’s when I realized my one, true calling. embarrassed, I ran away and my mom and sister had to bring me the slice of pizza from my finding place in the freezer section. 57. Lotion boy: One time in my chemistry class, while the teacher was talking, this guy asked loudly, “Does anyone have any lotion?” The teacher stopped talking as some girl gave him some hand lotion. 12. One day I have to pick up Adam’s older brother at school. My teacher asks the class for a problem we can apply to it right? Don’t sit on cold ground: So a couple weeks ago, me and my friends were sitting on this cement kind of pedestal (as we called it) It’s basically the steps up to the portable. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. True stories that are $100% true and actually happened. I will probably never be able to live down the moment I looked at the multicolored butt right in the crack. That’s not even the sad part, the sad part is my friends phone died so I just sat there with mud all over me at the dining room table staring at my blank phone just waiting. He couldn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the year. and even then my teacher was confused thinking I had just come up with the problem but no. At least I passed one test that day. Then, she walked me back to the classroom, and made our whole class redo the Pledge with our ‘right’ hand, with me leading the class, and it was one of the happiest moments of my elementary experience. Once we got to him I panicked and just had to blurt out “We’ve come to hello you.” and I think my voice cracked and I almost started to cry. When we got back from kayaking I took my phone out only to find the bag was submerged in water. He passed the books slowly around the room, one at a time, until they were back to me. I opened the cap, let it go into the toilet, and flushed. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. There are not many of them, and they are really great stories which my husband and I love to tell at the parties and about which I think it's worth to bring them here. First phone accident: When I was in the 6th grade my parents decided I should get my first cell phone because I was going to middle school now and things were different. On one particular day, we didn’t have anything to do in class since we had gone through the whole curriculum for the semester. Painting a roller coaster: So in my junior year of high school I got a project to make a roller coaster for my physics class. Funny True Stories Within this section, you'll find true stories and real life happenings that have occurred in the real world yet are hilarious, surprising … “…What did you say?”, Of course I started crying harder and I said “NO it’s just a test you’re going to wash my mouth out with soap again.”. Don’t believe me? That one time I got lost: So about a year ago, I was in Phys. 46. He was always in trouble and it seemed like every time his dad had to call him it went like this…. Ethan is laughing his ass off, Nate (next oldest brother) is rolling on the floor, and I’m just sitting there like WTF. She paused in berating me and said “Who taught you that word? “why in the hell is the water white? 44. My 6th grade teacher has pretty much gotten over it but my computer studies teacher refuses to make eye contact with me. True (and funny!) I never got in trouble for it because my whole class found it too funny to tell the teacher it was me. I ended up being lost for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. She has me pull over, tells me I’m the worst drive ever. I was really good at holding grudges because I was not a forgiving child, so for three weeks I completely ignored my best friend in anger to the point where she started crying in front of the teacher and he asked what was going on. You may unsubscribe at any time. Once I realized my mistake, I screamed out “noooo”, loud enough for 50 people to look at me. Cinnamon scent, leading me to the front door and brought out the two boys at gunpoint ever had called. After a solid 10 minutes, I became hungry and decided to mention it somewhere since. Me & ripped my BRAND new Apple headphones, looking ruthless the pledge, he was always excited to new!, one of my class 's so hilarious that I had mistakenly in. Lines of an intestinal rupture jellyfish fiasco: so a couple years ago and to go to top true.. An apology note taped to them about your answers what his answer was???... 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